Rhys Q's blog: stories, insights, and more rubbish.

If someone had told me back in November of 2021, after “James Bond - No Time to Die” was released, that Bond dies at the end of the movie, I would have laughed it off as a joke. I have since discovered that Daniel Craig’s last outing as Bond, is most definitely a joke—but not funny in the slightest.

Anyone involved with this film that had the power to stop this debacle should never be allowed to work in film again, even if your last name is Broccoli.

Surely Albert would be turning in his grave at the finished product of Daniel Craig’s 5 film storyline.

After delaying the release of this film for God-knows-how-long and touting it as the movie to “save the film industry” after the setbacks of the Covid pandemic, it would have been better if they’d lost the film.

I now wish, if reports are correct, Craig had quit the role years ago when he had wanted to.

“SPECTRE” was already lacklustre with a lukewarm portrayal of Blofeld (more as a result of the writing, I suspect, than the actor) and to follow it up and conclude with this piece of crap is shameful to the Bond universe.

I could have overlooked just about all of the major flaws in this film if not for the finale. In a few minutes of film, the production team destroyed nearly 60 years of James Bond magic.

But let’s go back to the beginning. The prologue scene was the longest ever, way too long. When the action came it was just okay.

As good as Vesper Lynn was, we all know that no one had the class, style and strength of Diana Rigg’s Teresa Draco.

First warning should have been the theme song and opening graphic. The most boring in history of Bond (Although worst song goes to Madonna’s “Die Another Day”.), but I knew there was something really wrong when they killed off Felix. That was the moment, as a Bond fan that my brain went, “What the f—”! 

It was one thing to nearly kill him in License to Kill and the bring him back in Casino Royale a different nationality, which you can pass off as going back to the beginning to justify this round of Bond, but to kill him off makes no sense because Bond and Felix's partnership goes on beyond Casino Royale.

At that moment, the whole James Bond timeline collapsed. For decades one could pass off the all Bonds as the same character without too much worry as the supporting cast (M, Q remained the consistent and crossed the different Bond films from Sean Connery, George Lazemby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan. We know he’s the same Bond, he’s referred to as Commander due to his navy history throughout all films, and the references to his only marriage.

Killing off Blofeld, who was a very weak villain in comparison to his previous appearances (Javier Bardem was a more sinister villain than any in the Daniel Craig franchise.), needed a much more dramatic death, but again, screws up the James Bond timeline.

If this franchise was a “reboot”, it was unnecessary and the supporting cast should have been replaced to reflect this to avoid these exact issues. Why do just 5 films and reboot again? That’s not Bond, and Bond has never needed reinventing.

The kidnapping of Madeleine and Mathilde was unnecessary and only serves to get Bond to go after Safin (Rami Malek). He didn’t need them and only brings Bond closer to his lair, and the moment security went down from the EMP, guards would have swarmed the place.

The film is also the longest in Bond history and by the time Safin’s plan is revealed, it is so quick you don’t even realise what it is, why, or even care. Safin’s reasoning isn’t even completely clear, but he is the most underdeveloped bad guy in Bond history, and given some of them, that’s saying something.

Safin let Mathilde go. She was his insurance policy and he just lets her go?!

They gave Bond a child! Are you insane?! While it’s more surprising he doesn’t have more children given his strike rate over the years, part of the character, behaviour and humour of Bond is that he doesn’t. Not only did it not add anything, it’s just not Bond and it really just felt they were trying too hard to be different. Dear or dear, Barbara and co. You should hang your heads in shame.

In the final confrontation, where was Safin going? Why did he suddenly come back to confront Bond? Just to shut the blast doors? In what was the shortest and weakest final fight in Bond films, Safin, for all the hype, was a poor Bond villain not worthy of the finale in a franchise.

And poisoning Bond with something incurable he lets himself get blown up? Not much more to say here. Worst writing ever! There are plenty of other films that do the whole self sacrifice thing. It’s not Bond. He’s resourceful and finds a way, sometimes, the good guy just needs to win. You can’t kill Bond.

The whole tying up of the end was so quick and lacked any emotion to top it off.

To make things even more ridiculous, at the end of the credit, “James Bond Will Return”. Oh really? How are they going to manage that? He’s dead! And surely you’ve just alienated your loyal fanbase, so much so that no one bothered to talk about this after the film was released. I think everyone must have been in shock.

Are they planning to have some kind of Avengers style alternate timeline? The only option is that he got clear of the blast, or was badly burnt and had facial reconstruction to bring in the next actor.

They are going to have to do something pretty special to fix this and bring faith back to the franchise and make it watchable again. As it stands, there is no reason to ever watch “No Time To Die” again. This from someone who has the whole collection and rewatches them regularly. They’ve made it difficult for me to consider watching or having any interest in future installments.

I’m now deciding whether to keep this DVD in the collection and if I will ever watch anything beyond Pierce Brosnan's last.

My final rant on this. During an interview on the Graham Norton show to promote the film, Daniel Craig talked about the difficulty they had writing one of the scenes with him and Rami Malek and how it took hours and they celebrated and hugged and kissed once they nailed it. They appear in only two scenes together in the entire film and they can’t have been talking about the final fight, which leaves the other scene. Bond is captured, lowers his gun, submits and bows to Safin (Malek). Safin looks at Bond’s child and says “That’s power.” That’s it! That’s the scene that took you so long to think up! I don’t know what that production team was on, but seriously “delusional”.